Lessons From Emotions

I’ve learnt a few important lessons from writing poems about emotions I’d like to share with you.

1. Be honest about how you feel. 

This is how you gain self-awareness. No matter how you feel in the moment, that emotion is worth paying attention to. It may hold a lesson about you, you need to learn in order to move on. Say, you feel sad. You can't force yourself to feel happy but you can think of things about yourself that you are grateful for. Gratitude enables you to move on from sadness. When you're procrastinating, you can ask yourself whether you've taken on too much, you're overcomplicating matters, or there's something else that's making you postpone what it is you need to do. Be honest.

2. Be considerate when you say how you feel.

When you feel upset with, betrayed by, or disconnected from someone close to you, how you express these emotions, matters. If the relationship is important to you, preserving it would be your goal. You can honestly express how you feel, while being considerate of the other person's feelings. If you are ready to let go of the relationship, it is still good to be considerate of the person’s feelings. Simply because this is essential to your own emotional wellbeing (and theirs). 

3. Pay attention to how you feel.

No matter how you feel in the moment, that emotion is worth paying attention to. It may hold a lesson about you, you need to learn in order to move on. What these lessons may be, are listed here.

4. Pay attention to how you think.

How you think determines how you feel. If you keep thinking sad thoughts or negative thoughts, you will begin to feel sad or depressed and subsequently think less of yourself. On the other hand, you can’t ‘think yourself happy’ if you’re feeling sad. That doesn’t work long term. But understanding that  thoughts affect feelings will help you let go of negative, unhelpful thoughts. Richard Carlson in his book "Stop Thinking, Start Living" (1993) talks about our thinking habit and how that affects our moods. He tells us that thoughts don't emerge out of nowhere. We are the creators of our thoughts, therefore, only we can change or dismiss unhelpful thoughts.

5. Principles are not feelings. 

Principles are Truths you live by sin order to live well mentally and emotionally. You can choose to live by Principles, such as • Gratitude • Kindness • Forgiveness • Action • Love • Patience • Trust Honesty • Fairness • Dignity • Service • Encouragement • Excellence •

6. You have the choice to Be.

You are now aware of Principles you can choose to live by. You now know they help improve your emotional well being. You also know you always have a choice. You can choose to be Grateful. You can choose to be Kind. You can choose to be Forgiving of yourself. You can choose to be Proactive, for example, learn new skills or practise your skills. You can choose to be Trusting of your own talents and skills.
The late Stephen Covey wrote in his famous book "7 Habits Of Highly Effective People" (1989, p.89) about the "Have's" and the "Be's".
We tend to concern ourselves too much with "Have's", which are related to feelings: "I'll be happy when I have my debts paid off. I'll be less stressful if only I had a nicer boss. If I could have more time to myself, I'll be so much happier."
Now, when we focus on creating change we are being in the present. Think about it. Better yet, feel the power of the following words as you read them out loud: "I can be more patient. I can be grateful, loving, kind, forgiving. I can be proactive and learn a new skill. I can be proactive and practice until I feel more confident".


Why not choose to live by universal Principles, knowing they are not emotions, but truths?
Why not be kind to yourself, as you let go of negative and unhelpful thoughts that can affect how you feel?
Why not be honest about how you feel and be considerate of the feelings of another, when you tell them how you feel. By being considerate to their feelings, you will be heard?
Why not, if it helps improve your emotional wellbeing? 

© 26 November 2021 Jacquelene Martina.